Confessions- a mistake I have made ...

There is a lot of "Insta Vs Reality" out there at the moment so I'm going to jump on the band wagon. Just to prove that it isn't all peaches and cream for me by any means....

Two years ago Pippa would hack out alone beautifully- because at my previous yard that was pretty much all I ever did. We did lots of on road hacking all by ourselves and her ladyship's halo shone brightly on every occasion. 

Pippa: This is because I am actually part angel part Exmoor- check my passport. 

After my failed IVF, heart-breaking loss of my elderly pony Pippin and huge life changes I got back into riding properly and moved yards just over a year ago ( nothing to do with the yard I was on I just needed better hacking) to a place where the hacking is stunning and for the first time in YEARS thanks to having more time and more confidence-  I rode out daily with others. 

It is fabulous riding with friends. I love it and I am so lucky to have lots of wonderful friends to ride with now. (Blog post about riding buddies coming soon). 

Pippa: Me too- I get to play all day with my buddies even if my stubby legs can't quite keep up with them!

However, rather stupidly and I really do know better, I didn't hack alone for a very long time and then when I did I discovered that my perfect solo pony had turned into a spooky, nappy nightmare. 

Entirely my fault. I should have ridden alone at least once a week to keep her going but in my defence I was having such a wonderful time!!!! 

Pippa: In MY defence so was I!!! 

Now, Pippa isn't stupid or dangerous - she can throw in a half hearted rear occasionally or a spin and run but to be fair she is 13;3hh and I can hold her and stop her. 

Pippa: I am not half hearted mother I  am a crazy wild beast.... I am a stallion! I am a racehorse! 

I would say she is the safest pony in the world for me which is why I bought her. ( That and her cute squishy face...) 

Pippa's napping is a different annoyance entirely. 

She just stops. In the middle of the road and REFUSES TO MOVE and when I say refuses she LITERALLY WILL NOT MOVE. 

Pippa: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha SUCKER!

I don't like using my whip. In fact I hate it. In my head Pippa is a pet, she is part of my family and I love her with all the love I have to give for a child that I can never have. Pippa and Digby are my kids. It's weird ok- and if you don't get it fine. You aren't me. I can't have children so I pour everything in to my fur children. 

This is why using my whip hurts my soul. However as horse riders there is a necessity to do so when YOU ARE HAVING A BATTLE OF WILLS WITH HALF A TONNE OF STUBBORN EXMOOR X HIPPO. 

Pippa: I am CURVY Mother- those Pippapotamus comments - they hurt!

20 mins we sat in this gateway. It took us 45 minutes to travel one mile. 

I cried and I felt stupid and I felt like a complete failure as a rider. What was wrong with me? I couldn't even get a 13;3hh to walk forward! I used to ride horses twice her size! WHERE HAD IT ALL GONE WRONG? 

So now we are going back to riding alone ( unless on a "road trip" which we have been doing rather a lot of lately as I am trying to build my trailer towing confidence) until she learns to hack by herself. 

Pippa: Bugger... this may have backfired on me spectacularly. Prepare yourself for a battle of wills Mother dearest. 

Moral of the story:

1. We all have bad days 
2. There is no such thing as a perfect pony or horse - they all have their quirks - it's how you manage them that counts- don't believe everything you see on social media. 
3. ALWAYS HACK ALONE AT LEAST ONCE A WEEK EVEN IF IT IS MORE FUN TO GO WITH FRIENDS!
4. Horse friends are the most supportive and wonderful people in the world- as soon as I got back to the yard I was made to feel so much better by my friends who were just lovely and made me laugh at myself rather than despair.